Hot Chocolate.

On Wednesday we said goodbye to a friend going back to Australia.

Although I only got to spend a very short time with her, the time we did share was always truly special. But within this "farewell" it began to resonate with me the fact that in a little over a month, I will be in the same position. All of the tidbits of advice we gave her about "Don't worry, you will be back one day." or "we will have a reunion somewhere in the world someday" etc. would soon be applicable to me. Although I know from experience these things are true, it doesn't make me less... sad. Not sad in the I want to cry way, but Bologna and the people here have become such a part of my life, that saying goodbye is truly bittersweet.

Anouk, Elif and I 

Then, on Sunday, we said goodbye to Anouk. However, this goodbye for me was a bit more of a see you later. She lives in Leuven, so I know we will be able to continue our friendship in person in the foreseeable future. I definitely prefer the "see you soon" goodbyes than the "one day, somewhere, we will find a way to see one another again" goodbyes.

I guess it was sort of the same when KJ left. She lives on the East Coast. Our chances of seeing one another again is a definite possibility. But what about the people who have shaped my life, become my confidants, and that I have developed a deep friendship with who will be all around the world? Who says I will ever see those influential, important people again? I know there is Skype and Whatsapp and many other incredible technological ways to stay connected, but how can those things replace the many coffee "work" breaks where just the physical presence of another person bonds you? How can you replace late night rant sessions, emergency chocolate runs, impromptu trips to random destinations? How do you continue to keep a friendship strong within some sort of physical proximity? I guess of all the people I know, I should be able to answer this. Having lived far from my family for a long-ish time now and still maintaining a close relationship with them. But that seems different. I know I will see them again soon. I have spent the majority, if not all of, my life with them. In fact, I think my sister and I got closer since I left. How is that possible if in so many other cases relationships fall apart due to distance.

Ok, so I am not the only person who has left home. That example deals with family, not friends. However, I should be able to answer this also given by my being in a long distance relationship for almost two years. And when I say long distance, I mean different countries and half the time different continents long distance. How did I keep that strong? Can I do that with all the friends I want to continue to grow with? Is it too much energy for little return? Or should I let life run it's course and let the friendships serve their purpose and then fade away if that's what is meant to happen? How long should I expend the energy and fight before letting go? How do I answer these questions? Can I?

I guess the only thing I can do is put the energy into the people who also give it back. And then, I suppose, time will tell.

Pre-flight thoughts

Clearly it's been a while since I wrote anything here... not to say that nothing has happened because believe me, much has.

But as I sit here at 11:30 at night waiting for the final coals in the fire to lose their bright red glow, I have the chance to think about why I am so sad, yet happy, to be going back to Italy tomorrow.

I am happy because, come on, it's Italy. But more than that, I have friends there. A life. A team. Family. Add on the culture, travel, food, adventure, opportunity and why would anyone be sad?

The weird thing is, my sadness at going back reflects my happiness. I am sad because my time is t-minus 2 months before I leave Italy for my next adventure. The friends that I have come to treasure will be said goodbye to without any knowledge of when we will meet again. The classmates that have been my comic relief and always constant fellow suffers will spread across the world to make a difference. The team I have come to understand both on and off the field will fade into hilarious whatsapp messages and occasional faces on facebook. The families that took me in and made me feel loved when I truly needed familial care will be hugged for possibly the last time. The city that has become my home will become a set of memories that I can only convince myself are real because of the pictures proving I was there.

And of course there are my exams the minute I return ;)

No but really. I am sad because I know that when I get on that plane tomorrow it will be the start of the final chapter in Bologna. Of course I know that I will have to go back to graduate. Of course the world is small and someday I will return if I so choose, but if this second chance in Bologna has taught me anything, it is that it's not about the place so much as the people that you meet there. I cannot express how much this experience has been shaped by those I met. From the old familiar faces to the newest ones, I will truly miss my Bologna family.

Well it seems as though the embers have faded and thus I can head up to my comfortable bed for one more night of rest before heading back to my second home.

<3

It's been a tough week...

"'What and ‘if’ two words as nonthreatening as words come. But put them together side-by-side and they have the power to haunt you for the rest of your life: ‘What if?'..." "I don't know how your story ended. But I know that if what you felt then was love - true love - then it's never too late. If it was true then, why wouldn't it be true now? You need only the courage to follow your heart..." 

I don't know. My heart hurts. I'm tired.

Food for Thought

What if we just blacked out the internet? Went back to letter writing, reading actual books, only socializing with those around us, and creating rather than consuming?

Today in my Music and New Media class we talked about our media consumption now versus 5 years ago and it got me thinking about how much technology I use now. It's sickening. My next thought was about how much people rely on, use, and consume via media. Does it stifle our creativity? Does it kill our social skills? Does it slowly rot our brains?

I don't want to find out, but in such a media-dependent society, how do you compete without also embracing it, using it, marketing through it, selling through it, etc.? How can you survive in the industry if you aren't on the internet using those channels that everyone sees?

When a goldfish has an attention span of 8 seconds and the average person has an attention span of 7 seconds something is seriously wrong.

It's like our generation is in a catch 22. We grow dependent because we have to in order to succeed but does that dependency lower our ability to succeed, grow, develop, create, inspire, be better? I feel stuck.

Just a thought.

It's Been a While Interwebs - Milan 2.0

I realize I haven't posted in a LONG time.

And that isn't to say that nothing has been happening that's worthy of writing down, sharing, remembering, etc. Because much has happened.

Home <3

I do want to offer some awesome highlights though: Wouter spent a month in the states (wonderful), Andrej and his mom came to visit us for about a week, went to my first Jimmy Buffett concert, my doctor read my latest bloodwork and for the first time in 2 years everything is completely normal (!), my thyroid is functioning great, so we decided to take care of the dizziness issue (got x rays of my neck) and found that I have a reverse curvature and a slightly rotated vertebrae so he gave me a fancy smancy new pillow. I got to see Sarah and Scott for a decent amount of time (Scott could have been there longer, that would have been nice) and spent some time with a few friends. But yeah, that was my summer in a nutshell!

However, the time from Bologna last Spring would all be very retrospective now, so instead I will just pick up on this 1st of September, my first full day back in Italy.

Alps, never get old

I left Budd Lake on Saturday around 6 pm. Luckily, I wasn't as upset to be leaving as I was last Fall. To be honest, I was nervous that that was going to happen. Especially since I was returning to Italy but to Milan, to a family I didn't know, a bit earlier than originally intended. (Quick update, I am spending a week with a family in Milan running a "fun" English camp for between 8-10 children). I learned from last year. I learned that preparation is key.  Mom and I went out to find me some pumpkin spice supplies and I found both Pumpkin spice chai tea and pumpkin coffee. As an added flavor I also got apple cider tea. Anyway, my flight was better than expected. They gave us BBQ chicken which was slightly better than the "meatballs" in July. My screen mostly worked so I watched two movies (they played on loop so you had to time it right): The Grand Budapest Hotel and The Face of Love. Both a bit different than expected. The first was really interesting and had that European film feel. Plus Jude Law. <3 The second was a bit of a mind game. It was half creepy and half beautiful. Kind of like a romance thriller... does that exist?

Anyway, I slept maybe an hour and landed safely in Copenhagen around 6 am local time. I have to tell you, that pilot made the smoothest landing I have ever experienced (aside from the one I slept through after Miami). I got through customs to my new gate and had about an hour to wait for the next flight. I boarded and had a short 1.5 hour hop over to Milan. Now on the way I started realizing all the issues I was about to face. My Italian phone had no money on it. I had to somehow contact Licia so I could meet her (the mom of my host family). I tried to turn on my Italian phone and it was dead. I forgot the charger cord at home (confirmed when my dad found the cord right where I asked him to check...woops). I had to figure out which of several buses I had to take to Viale Teodorico while carrying two heavy bags and a backpack. Needless to say, I had to keep calm and try not to panic. When I landed, I grabbed my bags and started the trek to the buses. I bought a ticket and asked several of the fast talking Italian bus workers which I needed to take. By the third one, I understood that I had to get on one bus and at the first stop get off and that the Viale was a parallel road to where I would be dropped. The first stop was at the airport still but then I was unsure if I needed to switch actual buses. Luckily, I stayed on and got off at the first actual stop which was a parallel road. Here is the issue though, without a working phone, I couldn't tell Licia that (thank God there was "wifi" on the bus and in the airport because at least I was able to spottily tell her what was going on).

Once I exited the bus with my large bags, I had no more wifi so I headed towards the Viale (I checked a map before getting off) and once there started heading towards where I saw a bus stop sign. Then someone in a car honks and yells "Heather!" as they pull to the side. Thank goodness! I literally was out of ideas after planning to walk to the bus stop. I said a quick hello to Licia and her daughter Fabiana and loaded my bags. We arrived at their house and took my stuff up to their apartment where I met her husband and son, got a tour of the house, and chatted with her about general information and details. We ate a typical italian lunch and then the family headed off to see friends for a few hours while I headed to the shower, still sweaty, exhausted, and with a few rope-like burns from one of my bags. After that I couldn't help but nap for an hour or two. When they got home I watched the end of the AC Milan game with the boys, we ate dinner, and I stayed up until about 11 in order to force myself to sleep a good nights sleep. With my fancy new pillow under my head, I slept like a baby until 7 am when I got up to close the blinds that I forgot to close and slept for another 2.5 hours.

This morning, although still a tiny bit tired and a slow to adjust stomach, I ate a bagel (from NJ) and worked on figuring out exactly what I am going to do with the kids this afternoon.

And that about wraps up my last few days of adventure.

Just another thought

I have just had an epiphany.

It can be completely amazing meeting new people all the time, but also completely exhausting. I guess what I mean is, with new people you feel the need to keep the conversation going, to learn details really quickly, and to decide whether you want to see this new person again, or not.

It isn't the same with people you are comfortable with. With them there is no pressure; No need to learn, speak, analyze, etc. It's not exhausting. It's easy. I think I have taken that for granted in the past.

Don't get me wrong. I love meeting new people. I love getting to know someone new or getting to know someone on a different level than previously. It is just nice to be able to go home and rest. As an extrovert, the right people revive me. I miss having that. That reenergized feeling. I don't know why this popped into my head now... maybe because i spent the past few days forging new friendships without having any closer friends in the area.

I don't know.

Just a thought I guess.

The Motherland

Finally! After 22 years I have made it to the only country I really KNOW is part of my heritage: Poland.

Okay, so I am in Wrocław not Włocławek (where my great great grandfather is buried) but still. This town is really interesting. It was completely destroyed about 65 years ago at the end of WWII and they have worked really hard to rebuilt it to its pre-war glory. You can definitely feel the WWII vibe and the buildings are this strange mix of bright colors and gothic architecture.

Celesté and I arrived on Sunday afternoon after a really great but long week of Torino, Florence, Milan, and Rachel/Jason/Liz visiting. When we got to the hostel, we literally thought we had been scammed because the building when you walk in looks run down and abandoned... but luckily the hostel is lovely and everyone super nice and helpful.

We walked into our room and immediately met our bunk mates: some polish men, a british guy, an asian guy who was sleeping, and two australians. We got to talking to the Australians (Joey and Jeremy) and decided to venture out and explore the city with them. When we stepped out of the hostel, it was down pouring. We decided to brave it anyway and wandered towards the center, well what we thought was the center. We ended up in a coffee shop where we got four cappuccinos. Then, out of no where, some random polish man who came in with his wife and daughter bought us and the workers all cake! So sweet. From there we decided to get something a bit stronger. We found this bar (Carpe Diem) that was down some alley, down some creepy stairs into the ground, and dark because there was no electricity. However, it was an amazing choice. We started with a shot each of this Polish vodka, Żubrówka, which was incredibly smooth. Then we each got a Polish beer. We stayed in this place for like 5 hours just chatting about life. When we got hungry we ventured out of the dark bar and got kebabs. Never again. They reminded me why I never get them. By the time we finished eating we headed back to the hostel to do some work and sleep. 

Proper Pierogis

The next day we headed out under cloudy, but dry skies to explore the city for real. We wandered all day finding gnomes around the city and taking in the polish sights. We stopped to get coffee again and to rest our feet. There isn't too much to say because we literally just walked for hours exploring the city center and trying to make sense of the Polish signs that none of us could read. At one point we went back to the hostel and played some cards before heading out again to find the lamplighter who in cape and top hat walks around Ostrow Tumski lighting lamps the quasi-old style way. We caught him just as he lit the final lamp. We were a bit bummed but all will be remedied the next day. For dinner, we went to this place recommended to us by one of the hostel workers to experience some good Polish food. We ordered a huge plate of pierogis to share and had planned on getting something after, however, we were so full when we finished that we decided to just call it a night. With dinner we all got Polish beers again, well I had mulled beer which was like happy in liquid form.

Also, being that it was St. Patrick's Day, we headed to the Irish Pub we found, where we were seated in the VIP section (because the waiter loved us- well because there were no other seats...) Still fairly early, we called it a night. 

The next day, the boys were off to Berlin so we played some cards and said our "see you laters" and Celesté and I headed back out to attempt to do some studying in a cafe and then explore some more. We made a point of getting back around 5:30 to stalk the lamp lighter, which we successfully did. We got dinner at the same restaurant as the night before and Celesté got Goulash while I got Bigos. Delicious. Then we called it a night as we were exhausted.

The final day, we saw the Panorama depicting the battle where the Polish beat the Russians, and visited the architecture museum. We ran into one of our new bunk mates and ended up grabbing lunch with him and walking around the city one last time. Then we headed out to catch our flight back to reality.